Loofy goes to Hogwarts
by IllusionalDelusion
Summary: This story is not intended to be taken seriously. Fixed some grammar problems


Lufituaeb Neveah Rewolf was quite possibly the world's biggest Harry Potter fan. She owned all six books that had been released so far, all four movies, every single Harry Potter related doll that had been made, the Lego play sets, all the games based on the series, all the calendars that had been made, posters, pencils, and pens. She even had the Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of secrets bedroom set that included sheets, pillowcases, comforter, and curtains. She purchased a second bed and drew a fake window on her wall because she couldn't decide which one to display. Today she was expecting a package! She had ordered one of those replica wands off the Internet.

Her friends and family called Lufituaeb 'Loofy'. She had honey colored hair with natural caramel and cinnamon highlights. Her eyes were almond shaped and shockingly violet with a thin silverfish ring around the outside of the iris. Loofy prided herself on being well dressed at all times. Today was no different of course. She was wearing a lilac a-lined skirt that stopped just above the knee. It had an intricate design embroidered on in darker purple. She also had on a dark purple tube top and a white cardigan sweater on top of that. On her feet were wedge heels with dark purple straps. Her fingernails were the perfect length and had been painted bright cherry red. Loofy thought it brought a bit of contrast to all the purple she was wearing. She didn't wear any make up because she was so naturally beautiful that she didn't need any.

All of the sudden, when Loofy was not expecting it at all the doorbell rang without warning. Loofy squealed excitedly and hurried from her bedroom. Her hair floated behind her like a river and sparkled as she ran. Loofy flung the door open to greet the mailman who would be delivering her package. However, there was no one there, but her package was there so it was okay. Loofy thought she saw an owl flying away, but it was already so far away that she couldn't tell. For all she knew, it could have been a hawk, or maybe even a really big sparrow. Shrugging it off, Loofy snatched up the package and ripped it open. A folded up piece of paper caught her eye and she read it first.

_Dear Miss Rewolf._

_You were accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry a few years back, but your letter was accidentally misorted and somehow ended up in Mr Filch's office hidden deep within a filing cabinet. I happened upon it completely by accident and decided that I'd better send this letter explaining what had happened so that you wouldn't be confused. I'm quite aware that you are seventeen years of age and that you haven't had proper magical training yet. When I received word that you had ordered a wand from the series of tubes muggles call the internet, I decided that it would be the perfect time to contact you. I have charmed your wand so that when you pick it up you will automatically learn everything you will need to know to begin your seventh year at Hogwarts. Unfortunately we don't have room in any of Hogwarts four house, so you will have to have your own suite complete with bedroom, sitting room, a small but functional kitchen, and a bathroom. Once you are ready to come to Hogwarts (yes, I am well aware that it is August30th and term doesn't begin until Sept 1), wave your wand in a counter clockwise circle and say 'Hogwartsicus Apparaticus'. You will instantly be teleported to Hogwarts where I will greet you and show you to your room and explain in more detail. Again, my apologies for the late arrival of this letter_

_Our bad._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Albus Dumbledore._

Loofy screamed, she was going to Hogwarts! This was the best birthday ever! She grabbed the wand out of the package enjoying the feeling of it while an entire six year magical education seeped into her brain. As instructed, she waved the wand in a counterclockwise circle and said 'Hogwartsicus Apparaticus'.

Loofy was suddenly no longer in her house, which was a very big surprise to her. She was standing in the entrance hall of Hogwarts. She spotted Albus Dumbledore and hurried over to him.

"I'm here!" she announced.

"Ah yes, I can see that you are," Dumbledore said smiling at her. "However, I'm afraid I have no clue who you are." His eyes twinkled, which was actually quite annoying to him, but he had forgotten the spell that would make it stop.

"It's me Professor Dumbledore. Lufituaeb Neveah Rewolf. My friend's call me Loofy," Loofy replied. "You sent me a letter with the wand I ordered from the internet."

"I'm sorry my dear, but I do not know what an internet is," Dumbledore replied.

"It's a series of tubes. You said so in your letter," Loofy replied, "You also said that I was coming for my Seventh year at Hogwarts and that I would learn everything I would need to in order to finish school. Then I waved my wand and said an incantation and I came here. You said that I would have my own suite because there was no room in any of the houses. Though I must say I had hoped to be in Gryffindor."

"Did I say that? Forgive I'm forgetful in my old age," Dumbledore replied, "I haven't set up your room."

"That's okay, I know the spell to use to do it myself," Loofy replied. She pointed her wand at a picture of a fluffy bunny wearing a bee costume and said "Sweet Suite!"

"Impressive Miss Rewolf," Dumbledore said, "If you'll excuse-" he stopped when Loofy clutched her stomach and winced. "Are you all right?"

"I feel sort of sick," Loofy replied, and then suddenly vomited a rainbow of glitter.

"Ah, you best be careful, you'll lose your sparkle," Dumbledore said.

"I'll go to my suite now," Loofy replied.

"You do that," Dumbledore replied.

Loofy petted the bunny in the painting, which was soft and fluffy. The picture swung open revealing a large suite. There was a large couch and some chairs in the sitting room, a large four-poster queen sized bed with several pillows, the kitchen, and the bathroom. Everything was shades of purple of course. Loofy decided to make her own symbol for her room and decided that a purple monochromatic lemur would be perfect. She conjured robes out of thin air with her symbol on them. Then, she conjured everything else she needed. Then she made dinner and fell asleep.

The next day, Loofy met Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Harry instantly fell in love with her, but Ron did too. Loofy didn't know whom to choose! Hermione instantly didn't like Loofy and was suspicious of her.

"Where are you from?" Hermione demanded grabbing Ron's hand in a vice like kung fu grip reminding him that he was_ her_ boyfriend.

"America of course," Loofy replied.

"Then why didn't you go to your own school?" Hermione demanded.

"I was invited here," Loofy replied.

"Not by me you weren't. I'm head girl," Hermione said.

"El oh el!" Loofy exclaimed throwing her head back laughing.

"I…she's speaking in tongues!" Hermione exclaimed pulling her wand out and pointing it at Loofy.

"Not now Hermy-Mione-Mia!" Harry said.

"What did you just call me?" Hermione demanded.

"Not now, we have to defeat Voldemort!" Harry said.

"Oh don't worry about it Harry," Loofy said.

"We have to! Voldemort will kill everyone!" Harry exclaimed.

"Bloody hell!" Ron shouted randomly.

"I'll write Voldemort a letter asking him to stop," Loofy replied. "I'm sure it will work!"

"Oh, okay then!" Harry exclaimed. "Do you play quidditch?

"Of course, I'd be the seeker on my house's team if my house had more people than just me in it," Loofy replied.

"What house are you in?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"Porkusbacon," Loofy replied, "My symbol is a purple lemur and my house's colors are purple and purple."

"How ridiculous!" Hermione exclaimed exasperated and walked off in a huff.

"Loofy I love you!" Harry exclaimed.

"I love you too, Harry! Promise to always love me!" Loofy exclaimed.

"I promise!" Harry promised.

Several days later, Loofy found herself having to teach Defense against the Dark Arts because no one had bothered to sign up for the job. She often gave Harry private lessons, but right now, she was in the middle of teaching Gryffindor and Ravenclaw seventh years how to stop death eaters. She was just explaining the wand movement when suddenly Voldemort appeared. The students began to scream, as the Dark Lord made his way to the front of the classroom toward Loofy. He was twitching and glaring at her. Harry jumped up.

"Voldemort!" He shouted angrily ready to fight.

"Not now, Potter! I'll deal with you later!" He-who-must-not-be-named said impatiently. He reached Loofy who stood her ground defiantly.

"I hope you received my letter Tommykins," Loofy said.

"Oh yes, I did," Voldemort replied. "A strange affect it's having on me. I'm beginning to feel…nice."

"Oh good so it's working," Loofy replied. "You're welcome."

"I'm welcome? Excuse me Looooooooooofy', but I hate it. I'm the dark lord! I am VOLDEMORT!" Voldemort said.

"I asked you politely to be nice," Loofy said.

"ARRGH!" Voldemort yelled and pulled out his wand and pointed it at Loofy "Avada Kedavra!"

Loofy was killed instantly.

Harry blinked a few times and then shook his head. It was like he was waking up from a bad dream. He spotted some girl on the floor, glittering leaking out of her mouth, nostrils, and ears. He had a vague recollection of loving this girl, but he couldn't remember.

"I knew it!" Hermione exclaimed, "Harry she was a Sue! She almost had you, but Voldemort killed her! He…he saved your life!"

"You…" Harry began as he turned to face Voldemort. Then, he threw himself against Voldemort hugging the dark lord tightly. "Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Get off it, Potter!" Voldemort said, "I'll see you in June for our final battle. Three P.M. at the quidditch field. Be there, punk." Voldemort said and then disappeared.


End file.
